This blog aims to tap women of today who does not realize that being hard on herself won’t do any help at all.
Here goes her story.
She is a woman who sets high expectations for herself.
She’s “idealistic”, probably. Those who are close to her would describe her that way. She is this girl who thrusts herself in whatever she feels doing and exerts 100% in whatever she engages in.
She is a very optimistic person, to the extent that she thought she can change the world within her might. Being armed with an optimistic mind, she thought she can change challenging people she deal with on a daily basis. She thought sometime, somewhere, these people will believe in what she believes in. That these people will walk the same road she is walking in.
When still young and since she started schooling, being an achiever was already a goal she sets for herself to achieve. Yes, even as early as kindergarten years, she strove so hard to be on top. Later would the day come for her to realize that she could have enjoyed playing with kids similar with her age than spending most of her time with her books and writing over and over to achieve awesome handwriting. Lest she realized when she woke up one day that she saw herself asking, “where did the time go?’
She graduated in college and surpassed the hurdles smoothly. But she cared less of keeping friends. For her younger self, what mattered was to get good grades and reap the fruits of her four-year indifference and graduate with flying colors.
One day she met the man of her dreams. She married and had a wonderful child. Her pregnancy jaunt was not that easy but she did not mind. Again for her, everything was perfect! She thought if life gives her lemons, she will make a lemonade than be sorry for the sourness it brings.
Being judged by people? Yes, she heard all sorts in her life. But, being focused into her goal in life became like shadows that pass by. “Doesn’t matter, don’t care…” were her lines while hurdling the obstacles that life brings.
In feeling the feelings of the needy and lowly, she felt numb. Oh! Her numbness infected her right senses to remember that one time in the past, she was herself needy. Success may have turned her into someone else entirely, covering her heart with a “go-getter’s I can!” attitude.
Then one day something happened. She realized she is not someone she thought was so special. She’s just an ordinary girl, vulnerable and also helpless. She knew by then that she should understand and connect to other people, like those in need in its truest sense.
It was love, she knew she felt. Love in its deepest meaning was reintroduced to her.
For almost a decade, she enjoyed having a rosy career. But one day she woke up breaking up with her professional love affair. She has put an end to months of frustrations and disappointments. Forcing and dragging herself to work were her breakfast then. Painful, was the perfect word to describe it, she says. Yes, for months, endured the painful phase of her career life.
“What could be the deeper reasons? Why?,”she asked herself the probing question. “I have given my all and yet this?”
Until a new day sets in. Sunrise finally did came one day, after months of searching for an answer.
She remembered, she heard a voice somewhere: “Learn to ask! Learn to understand what it is to be helpless. Love more! Love deeply! Speak less. Learn the language of silence. Call upon Him – in silence. Meet Him at the secret room.”
A silver lining appears that kicks the pain away.
New learnings starts anew. It was a teachable moment for that woman.
Surely, God has his ways to teach one how it is to love again.
A silver lining – to love again.